“We’re fighting fire with fire,” Lee Thornton, spokesman for the tobacco companies, told reporters outside the courthouse, “No more Mr. Nice Guy! From now on – if you sue us, we’re suing you!” Peggy Sue Johnson, widow of the late defendant, will be defending herself in the case. “My lawyers…
Pebbles is back in the spotlight again – but this time, the former child cartoon star won’t be appearing in court. Ms. Flintstone, who has faced a continuing battle with drugs and alcohol since the cancellation of the show that made her a household name, has announced plans to appear in…
A recent study has shown that, contrary to earlier findings, sex with kittens does NOT cure cancer. Doctors are now scrambling to distance themselves from the issue. “Uhm… we are currently offering a full refund, no questions asked,” said a cashier at Petsmart, which has sold thousands of ‘Cancer Kitties’…
Hip-Hop Star Trippy Licks, best known for his songs “Beautiful Strong Black Women” and “Fun Lovin’ Gangsta”, was shot to death in his home last night by his grandmother, Jeanine Licks. Police suspect that the shooting was a publicity stunt by Granny Licks to promote her new album, “Bitch Slap”.…
The Crimson White, the student newspaper at the University of Alabama, is currently under investigation for torturing students by forcing them to sit in front of a computer, for hours on end, watching a “carousel” of featured items on one of the Internet’s most vapid, inane websites. “It was just…
While the citizens of Arkansas have always shown a penchant for novelty gags – from trucker hats to wacky bumper stickers to Bill Clinton – the recent proliferation of “I’m with Stupid” T-shirts has finally prompted legislative action. “There comes a point when it’s just not funny anymore,” Governor Mike…